Thanksgiving break

I go back to college today. I have been enjoying my Thanksgiving break at home. (except that I got a cold and have been sick and coughing and sneezing ever since Thursday. But, I would much rather be sick at home than at school!) I have so much to be thankful for...

-Surviving my first three months of college (only three more weeks!)
-My loving and supportive family
-My God who loves me no matter what

The list could go on and on. I could tell you about all the great things God has done for me. I could tell you about the challenges of college life. I could tell you about my work at a daycare with 2-3 year olds. And maybe I will (over Christmas break) but for now, just a short post to tell you that I am still in the land of the living and that God is good. And in three weeks I will be home for Christmas break! :) (I will try to update more then.) Keep praying for me.

Non Nobis Domine!

My family

I just wanted to post a few pics of my amazing family. I love them so much! :)

Off to college...

Well, it is time to start a new chapter in my life. Tomorrow I am heading off to college, which will be a new and different experience. I have been homeschooled all my life and will have to get used to changing classrooms and ringing bells, living in a dorm, eating cafeteria food, etc.

I will not be able to access my blog very often, but I will try to update when I come home on the occasional weekend.

I know that God will use all of this to mold and shape me, and I want to grow spiritually through this experience. I would appreciate the thoughts and prayers of those of you who read my blog.

Soli Deo Gloria! Non Nobis Domine!

A broken friendship

I want to tell you the story of one of my friends. I'll call her "Marie". Marie was several years older than me, but I looked up to her and admired her fervently. She was an example for me and I tried to watch and sometimes copy her every move. I doubt she knew that.

But last year, Marie ran off to be with a guy she meet over the internet, she didn't tell her parents she was leaving. It crushed me. I had just seen Marie the week before and she had seemed normal and cheerful. I had thought Marie was a strong Christian girl, one I could look up to and imitate without fear. She was the last person I would have thought would do anything like this. And then, Marie ran off and did this.

My confidence in Marie was shaken. Everything she had ever told me was reexamined and I was afraid to trust anyone for a while. This was the power of a broken friendship. I had thought of her as a sister and it felt like utter betrayal of my trust in her. I doubt she knows that, or ever will know the impact her leaving had on me.

I know that Marie's leaving was not personally about me, but it might as well have been. It was painful. It still is. Marie has now, a long year later, reconcilled with her parents. But not before she married the guy.

Marie's leaving forced me to think about the example that I am setting for other girls. Maybe I only see them for a week or two, but they set me up as an example and look up to me. What legacy am I leaving with them? How do they see me acting?

I want others to always see Christ in me, through all my deeds, words, and attitudes. I want to be a shinning example of Christ's light. I must think carefully about what impression I am giving others about Godly Womanhood. About Christianity. About Jesus.

I know that my relationship with Marie will never be the same. It took me a while to forgive her. If we ever meet again, I am praying that God will enable me to be gracious and loving to her.

But regardless of my relationship with Marie, I am praying that, by God's grace, I will not crush a young girl's trust in me. I pray that I will be a trustworthy example of Christ.

Farewell to Advanced Excel

As I sit here and work on my last assignments before heading back to the DMC on Monday, I realize that I will miss this. No, not the rush to get assignments sent in before midnight on Friday of the second week. No, not the stress that weighs down on me like a ton of bricks as I struggle to find the right words for my papers. No, not the struggle against procrastination. No, not the push to do what feels like million things at once.

But I will miss being able to say to the other AE girls "See you in June!" I'll miss the way we were forced to stay in contact and pray for each other. I'll miss the people. I'll miss the way this has forced me to grow and rely on God. It's having to say good-bye to a part of my life. It's having to say farewell to friends who have become like sisters.

But while I may have to say good-bye to them, there is one person that I have gotten to know very well that has promised to stay with me. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He has promised to surround me with His love and never leave me.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:35, 37-39

10 things I want to say...10 things I don't want to say

One of our assignments for Advanced Excel was to come up with a list of ten things we wanted to be able to say about ourselves when we died. The flip side was that we also had to have a list of ten things we didn't want to say about ourselves when we died. It was a challenging assignment.

I want to challenge you to make your own lists. Examine your life. Live your life in such a way that you are ready to die.

10 things I want to say...
1. I lived passionately
2. I loved others above myself
3. I brought glory to God in all that I did
4. I visited New Zealand
5. I understood and lived out who I am in Christ
6. I found and fulfilled my life purpose through Christ
7. I was an encouragement to those around me
8. I influenced at least one life for the better
9. I was a true and loyal friend
10. I was not a blind follower (not a lemming jumping off the cliff)


10 things I don't want to say...
1. I never felt God’s love
2. I lived selfishly
3. I put myself above others needs
4. I failed Advanced Excel
5. I lived in fear
6. I never went to New Zealand
7. I missed God’s purpose for my life
8. I never sought the answers to my questions, merely accepting what I heard
9. I gave up
10. I discouraged those around me

Photo Scavenger Hunt

Funny pose

Vanishing point

"Tools, not toys."

A favorite thing
(need I say any more?)

Music

Shamrock Green

Broken

Weather

Memory

Making a statement

Self portrait

Police

Date
(don't settle for the jerk in the tin suit!)

White trash

Squirrel

The passage of time

My "coffee"
(who needs coffee when you have DP?)

Fears

Leap

Reflections on my computer

Stapler

What is the top priority in life?

What do you think the most important thing in life is? What should be the top priority? The answer may surprise you. It surprised me, although already I knew it. Our priority is to Love God.

We have all read Matthew 22:37-38 where it tells us the greatest commandment, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.”

But do we ever stop and actually think about what this means? It says nothing about doing great things for the glory of God. It does not tell us to go evangelize a third-world country. It does not tell us to care for the homeless. It does not tell us to go to church and tithe. These are good and important things, but what does the verse actually say?

It tells us that loving God is the most important thing. Nothing more, nothing less. This is not a love that rushes around doing things for the person while ignoring them. This is a love that focuses on that person. All that God asks of us is that we love Him. And the love He gives us for Himself will spill out and touch the lives of everyone around us.

All that I am, all that I ever will be is wrapped up in that. In 2007, I dedicated 6 years of my life to serve God. I thought this meant I would go and do great things for God. Go to New Zealand and minister to young people there. Maybe cause a revival to break out in the political world. Do something big and glorious for God to change the world.

But now I realize, if I do nothing else in these six years, I have done enough. I have learned that all God wants from me is my love. Not for me to do mighty things, but to simply be in His presence. To love Him. To bask in the presence of my Father and to experience His love.

Ephesians 1:12a says “That we should be to the praise of his glory,” it is not about doing, it is about being. And God has shown me that all I need to do, to be, is love Him. Once I am able to simply “be” and love Him, then, if He wills, I can “do” for Him because my priorities are right. But if nothing else happens during these years, it is enough that I know this.

Advanced Excel has changed my life. It has taught me how to be. It has shown me who God says I am. It has shown me the truth. The truth is a person, Jesus Christ. And I love Him with everything that is in me.

My word of the week...

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

Honorificabilitudinitatibus: the state of being able to achieve honours.

Pronunciation guide: Hono-rifica-bili-tudi-nita-tibus

(It's from Shakespeare's "Love's Labour's Lost.")

I love this word, its super cool. Try using it on your family at the supper table and see what happens. :)

Look at Your Life through Heaven's Eyes

This song was a timely reminder that I must look at myself through God's eyes, not through my own. (This song is from "The Prince of Egypt", words by Stephen Schwartz.)

Through Heaven’s eyes

A single thread in a tapestry
Though its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain’s mighty face
Does it think it’s more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life,
Look at your life through heaven’s eyes.
Lai-la-lai….

A lake of gold in the desert sand
is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherded boy
Is greater than the richest king.
If a man lose ev’rything he owns,
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come,
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven’s eyes

And that’s why we share all we have with you,
Though there’s little to be found.
When all you’ve got is nothing,
There’s a lot to go around.

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance,
And though you never know all the steps,
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance.
Lai-la-lai…

So how do you judge what a man is worth?
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven’s eyes.
Look at your life,
Look at your life,
Look at your life through heaven’s eyes!

Who am I?...my life through God's eyes

I sat on my bed, journal in hand. I was on a date with God, asking the same questions I had posed for many years but had never received an answer. I inquired almost by rote now, not really expecting a reply.

“Who am I God? Who do you see me as?” I asked. To my surprise, I found an answer. “Princess.” The word echoed through my brain. I shook my head in frustration. I did not feel anything like a princess, so I decided to question further and see if God still responded. Maybe I was just imagining this.

“Okay, fine. A princess, but what kind of princess am I?” God replied came almost before I had finished speaking. “Radiant Princess.” The words refused to leave my head, continually reverberating through my mind, and becoming engrained in my memory.

This description startled me. I have always longed to be a princess, but actually being told that I was a princess by God Almighty took me by surprise. I did not look like a princess. I did not feel like a princess. “God, are sure that you are talking to the right person?” I wondered.

“A Radiant Princess?” I was skeptical and decided to see what those words actually meant. I grabbed my ever-handy Webster’s dictionary to look them up. Radiant: [Latin-radius, ray] 1. Shining brightly, 2. Showing pleasure, etc; beaming, 3. Issuing (from a source) in or as in rays. Princess: 1. A daughter of a sovereign, 2. The wife of a prince

The longer I looked at the words, the more I realized that this did apply to me. I am the daughter of the King of Kings and Christ is my husband. And I am radiant in that my light comes from God; I should shine brightly as a light in a dark world to bring glory and honor to my Lord.

Several weeks later, I was lying in bed unable to sleep. So I decided to question God again and see if he still replied. “Okay, you say that I am a radiant princess. But why am I here? Why did you put me on this earth?” Again, I was startled to receive an answer.

“Battle.” I am here for battle? Where? When? How? I have no idea. “Uh God, that sounds great. But how on earth do I prepare for that?” I asked.

Again, I pulled out my dictionary and looked up the meaning of the word. Webster’s defines it thus: Battle [Latin—battuere, to beat] 1. A large-scale fight between armed forces 2. Armed fighting 3. Any fight or conflict.

Battles are ugly affairs. They are long, dangerous, nasty, and deadly. How does that fit in with being a princess? They seem like two opposite ends of the spectrum and God and I are still figuring that one out.

When I was on a Journey to the Heart last year, one of the girls on my team liked to call herself “God’s Warrior Princess” and I thought that sounded cool. But now that I have been dubbed a princess and told that I am here for battle that sounds very daunting. Whatever this battle is, God must fight it through me, for on my own I would quickly be defeated. However, with God at my side fighting the battle with me and through me I am guaranteed to be victorious.

To dance, or not to dance?

Dancing with my Daddy

What is dancing? To me, it is harmonious music, Scottish and English folk tunes and dances, groups of friends, gaily colored formal dresses, fun and God glorifying, not for self gratification nor to draw attention to oneself, but to be a part of the whole group and dance. In my view of dance, it is not for seeking boy-girl relationships, but to enjoy the company of Christian friends, this brings glory to God through seeking to honor Him in conversation, behaviour, and courtsey to others.

Dancing has long been a part of our historical culture. In the 17th and 18th centuries, groups of friends would gather together to learn new dances, memorize the intricate steps, and socialize. In contrast, modern dancing is not a group activity; it seems to be more of a showing off of an individual’s talent and dress (or lack thereof). It is based on a dating relationship and trying to attract the opposite sex.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 says “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” We are told in the Psalms to dance for the Lord, bringing glory to his name. Both David and Miriam danced before the Lord to express their joy and happiness. While I am not sure where I stand on the use of dance in the church service, I do believe we can draw the conclusion that God gives us a time and place for dancing.

He is risen!

Let the whole earth rejoice! Death is conquered and we are free. Christ has won the victory! Hallelujah! Amen!

Aslan is here and he wants me to follow...

I am at the point where the rubber meets the road. Am I going to trust God and love him? Or am I going to worry and fret over my incompetence? Am I going to believe what God says about me? Or am I going to believe what I see?

I am on a journey, and I have reached a fork in the road. Like the Pevensies in Prince Caspian (the book, not the movie), I have been told that Aslan is here and he wants me to follow him. I have stared my eyes sore and seen nothing. Maybe the moonlight is deceiving. I do not know.

But then someone turns and begins to walk, following the unseen Lion. I stand, indecisive for a moment. Then I sigh, sling my shield onto my back, gird on my sword, and start walking. I still do not see anything, but I trust that I will not be lead astray.

I am walking blindly in the dark and that is frightening. But I keep walking, along the clifftops. Then, we plunge over the cliff. I am amazed to see that there is a path. I keep walking, hope rising in my heart. Maybe...maybe Aslan really is there.

I know deep down that he must be. I still do not see him. But I hold onto this hope, that I will not be in darkness forever. One day, I will see.

Purifying gold

He sat by the fire with sevenfold heat,
As He watched by the precious ore,
And closer He bent with a searching gaze
As he heated it more and more.
He knew He had ore that could stand the test,
And he wanted the finest gold
To mould as a crown for the King to wear,
Set with gems with price untold.
So He laid our gold in the burning fire.
Tho’ we fain would have said to Him, “Nay,”
And He watched the dross that we had not seen,
And it melted and passed away.
And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,
But our eyes were so dim with tears,
We saw but the fire—not the Master’s hand,
And questioned it with anxious fears.
Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,
As it mirrored a Form above,
That bent o’er the fire, tho’ unseen by us,
With a look of ineffable love.
Can we think that it pleases His loving heart
To cause us a moment’s pain?
Ah, no! But He saw through the present cross
The bliss of eternal gain.
So He waited there with a watchful eye,
With a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,
Than was needed to make it pure.
Unknown

This poem really spoke to my heart. No one enjoys the heat and pain of the purifying process, yet it is necessary to make us perfect and Christ-like. And we have the promise that our God will not put us through more than He knows is needed. Personally, I don't like the process and I would avoid it if it were at all possible. But I am praying that God will help me to endure His purifying so that I might bring glory to Him.

From Acorn to Oak

Follow with me the path of a little acorn on its journey to become a mighty oak tree. Imagine that you are standing in a vast forest, surrounded by trees. The tall oak on your right is being buffeted by the blustery fall wind, and made to release one of its little acorns as the wind picks it up and carries it away. You follow it as it gets blown around, buffeted by forces it cannot control. Finally, it ends up in a meadow and lies there in the tall grass, doing nothing. The rains come and the acorn begins to get waterlogged, the ground becomes wet and soft and the little acorn sinks into the mud around it.

The acorn begins to rot, dying. It has no life of its own. After it decays, nothing seems to happen for a long time. Then, a green sprout appears. It looks like a weed, but it is actually the beginning of a mighty oak tree. The small plant continues to grow, soaking up the rain and sunshine. At last, one day you can see that it is indeed a tree, not just a weed. More time, more growing, more soaking up of nutrients.

Eventually, you look to the spot where the acorn rotted and see an oak tree, not as thick or tall as others, but strong and solid. It will continue to grow and eventually become massive, filling the meadow that is its home. It releases its own acorn into the wind and the process begins again.

I am that acorn. God is in the process of making me an oak. Right now, I may feel like a weed, but He says that doesn’t change who I am. He says that at the core of my being, I am tree.

Hello!

I am now entering the world of bloggers. Hopefully, this assignment will turn out to be a lot of fun and a good experience.