Who am I?...my life through God's eyes

I sat on my bed, journal in hand. I was on a date with God, asking the same questions I had posed for many years but had never received an answer. I inquired almost by rote now, not really expecting a reply.

“Who am I God? Who do you see me as?” I asked. To my surprise, I found an answer. “Princess.” The word echoed through my brain. I shook my head in frustration. I did not feel anything like a princess, so I decided to question further and see if God still responded. Maybe I was just imagining this.

“Okay, fine. A princess, but what kind of princess am I?” God replied came almost before I had finished speaking. “Radiant Princess.” The words refused to leave my head, continually reverberating through my mind, and becoming engrained in my memory.

This description startled me. I have always longed to be a princess, but actually being told that I was a princess by God Almighty took me by surprise. I did not look like a princess. I did not feel like a princess. “God, are sure that you are talking to the right person?” I wondered.

“A Radiant Princess?” I was skeptical and decided to see what those words actually meant. I grabbed my ever-handy Webster’s dictionary to look them up. Radiant: [Latin-radius, ray] 1. Shining brightly, 2. Showing pleasure, etc; beaming, 3. Issuing (from a source) in or as in rays. Princess: 1. A daughter of a sovereign, 2. The wife of a prince

The longer I looked at the words, the more I realized that this did apply to me. I am the daughter of the King of Kings and Christ is my husband. And I am radiant in that my light comes from God; I should shine brightly as a light in a dark world to bring glory and honor to my Lord.

Several weeks later, I was lying in bed unable to sleep. So I decided to question God again and see if he still replied. “Okay, you say that I am a radiant princess. But why am I here? Why did you put me on this earth?” Again, I was startled to receive an answer.

“Battle.” I am here for battle? Where? When? How? I have no idea. “Uh God, that sounds great. But how on earth do I prepare for that?” I asked.

Again, I pulled out my dictionary and looked up the meaning of the word. Webster’s defines it thus: Battle [Latin—battuere, to beat] 1. A large-scale fight between armed forces 2. Armed fighting 3. Any fight or conflict.

Battles are ugly affairs. They are long, dangerous, nasty, and deadly. How does that fit in with being a princess? They seem like two opposite ends of the spectrum and God and I are still figuring that one out.

When I was on a Journey to the Heart last year, one of the girls on my team liked to call herself “God’s Warrior Princess” and I thought that sounded cool. But now that I have been dubbed a princess and told that I am here for battle that sounds very daunting. Whatever this battle is, God must fight it through me, for on my own I would quickly be defeated. However, with God at my side fighting the battle with me and through me I am guaranteed to be victorious.

To dance, or not to dance?

Dancing with my Daddy

What is dancing? To me, it is harmonious music, Scottish and English folk tunes and dances, groups of friends, gaily colored formal dresses, fun and God glorifying, not for self gratification nor to draw attention to oneself, but to be a part of the whole group and dance. In my view of dance, it is not for seeking boy-girl relationships, but to enjoy the company of Christian friends, this brings glory to God through seeking to honor Him in conversation, behaviour, and courtsey to others.

Dancing has long been a part of our historical culture. In the 17th and 18th centuries, groups of friends would gather together to learn new dances, memorize the intricate steps, and socialize. In contrast, modern dancing is not a group activity; it seems to be more of a showing off of an individual’s talent and dress (or lack thereof). It is based on a dating relationship and trying to attract the opposite sex.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 says “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” We are told in the Psalms to dance for the Lord, bringing glory to his name. Both David and Miriam danced before the Lord to express their joy and happiness. While I am not sure where I stand on the use of dance in the church service, I do believe we can draw the conclusion that God gives us a time and place for dancing.

He is risen!

Let the whole earth rejoice! Death is conquered and we are free. Christ has won the victory! Hallelujah! Amen!

Aslan is here and he wants me to follow...

I am at the point where the rubber meets the road. Am I going to trust God and love him? Or am I going to worry and fret over my incompetence? Am I going to believe what God says about me? Or am I going to believe what I see?

I am on a journey, and I have reached a fork in the road. Like the Pevensies in Prince Caspian (the book, not the movie), I have been told that Aslan is here and he wants me to follow him. I have stared my eyes sore and seen nothing. Maybe the moonlight is deceiving. I do not know.

But then someone turns and begins to walk, following the unseen Lion. I stand, indecisive for a moment. Then I sigh, sling my shield onto my back, gird on my sword, and start walking. I still do not see anything, but I trust that I will not be lead astray.

I am walking blindly in the dark and that is frightening. But I keep walking, along the clifftops. Then, we plunge over the cliff. I am amazed to see that there is a path. I keep walking, hope rising in my heart. Maybe...maybe Aslan really is there.

I know deep down that he must be. I still do not see him. But I hold onto this hope, that I will not be in darkness forever. One day, I will see.